Are you wearing a hat or a mask? On Being Real 🎭 (23.07.23)
Being real is not an easy thing in a culture that emphasises physical and material perfection, is it? We believe we might be accepted if we look younger, thinner, wealthier, or more successful. That is a high bar we place on our self-worth, value, and sense of belonging. It usually means we end up feeling unworthy, not good enough, or isolated.
Of course we play different 'roles' in life that require specific parts of our personality to be 'in gear'. We have different responsibilities as parent/child/partner/employee/employer/carer/volunteer/.... I like to compare these roles to wearing different hats. One hat for work, one for a family party, one when you put your child to bed, and one when you make love to your partner (okay, you can take all hats off then)... These hats represent different areas of competence or responsibility. Our language, body posture, and actions might change according to the hat we wear, because these situations require different things from us. Even if you put your 'organiser hat' or your 'fabulous chef' hat on, the hat still allows your unique personality to shine through.
But what if you are wearing more of a mask that stops you from sharing your real and authentic self with others? The mask is a barrier you put between you and the world, usually because you hope to be perceived more independent, less fussy or sensitive, more accommodating, brilliant or successful, more 'together'. This hides your true personality and deprives the world of a chance to get to know the unique, quirky, magical you.
What if you are exactly right as you are, without need to inflate or deflate yourself? What if you can walk into a room feeling completely at home and at ease within yourself, and bringing your unique humour, warmth, eccentricities and take on things with you - without 'performing' an act, without hiding, and without putting yourself down? What if you could admit you have no idea what's going on, or apologise for a mistake? When we step into our authenticity, we offer the opportunity for others to do the same. What a different world we would live in!
Of course we need to be 'streetwise' about how much we share of ourselves in each situation. There is no requirement to share ALL of you ALL the time. But I would encourage you that what you DO share, is true. To stop laughing at jokes you don't understand. To remain silent or say you don't know, if you don't know the answer to a question, rather than pretend you know something. To stay true to your values, whether you meet the queen or a homeless person on the street. To be honest about what matters to you. To speak up, if that is what the situation asks of you.
I know this is scary, but when we take risks like this, we inspire others to be real too. This is certainly one of the core qualities in our Wild Soul community - the courage to be real and show up as we are. Let's take some time for deeper reflection...
Reflection and Practice for Being Real
What does 'being real' mean to you? To really be yourself? Does this question scare or excite you?
Reflect on areas where you dare to share your real self, and areas where you hide your real self. Which parts of your inner brilliance are you withholding to others?
Are there any persons in your life with whom you feel safe enough to relax in the truth of who you really are?
Does the concept of hats versus masks make sense to you? If yes, which different hats do you have in your personality cupboard?
And might you wear a mask sometimes too? If yes, what would it mean to interact with the world without a mask?
The coming week, ask yourself in different situations: am I wearing a (magical) hat to fulfil specific responsibilities for a role that I'm now in? OR am I wearing a mask to present myself in a more favourable way, or to hide behind? Practise observing the difference.
You can also make a paper mask. I've attached a template that you can print. On the front, write all the parts of your 'social presentation', how you like to be seen by others. On the back, write all parts of yourself that you hide from the world, that you don't easily share. This is a piece of shadow integration that I learned from my lucid dreaming teacher Charlie Morley. Hold yourself compassionately, without judging yourself. You can also draw or colour the mask in whatever way feels appropriate.
If you like you can take a next step. In addition to simply writing your hidden and visible qualities, put the mask on, and 'walk around' with it in the privacy of your home. Feel how this 'physical' mask creates a barrier between you and the world. Your inner world is hidden from view, and only your social presentation is visible. How does this make you feel? Then put it on back to front - with your 'inside' out... How does that make you feel? This is your private investigation, to 'show what you are hiding' in the safety of your own space. Afterward, write down everything you learned from this exercise.
You can even take it a step further and burn the mask afterwards, making a clear intention of what you like to transform before burning the mask.
I'd love to hear what comes up for you. You can share this in the Seed Topic within our community, or post a comment below this reflection in the Magical Seed Library, whatever you prefer!!
Have a creative weekend, getting to know your psychic wardrobe and accessories :-)
Eline
PRINT YOUR MASK:
Image: Shopwindow Inspiration
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